What The Fuck Is a Real Woman Anyway?

I came across this lovely little article  about five minutes ago. I haven't read it yet but just anticipating all the bullshit that will grace this list in advance.

http://www.puckermob.com/lifestyle/43-things-that-make-a-real-woman

Because of course, if I don't fit these 43 specific points, my ovaries just simply don't exist after all.

Real women have smokey eyes.

Oh, I didn't realize if I didn't follow a makeup tutorial and plaster my eyes with smoky colors then I am not real.

 Real women go bare-faced.

I actually do this everyday, because I have a face, like most humans.

Real women are passionate, and challenge you, making you jump in the deep end.

Who is this "you" they are talking to? Is the intended audience single males? Another problem here. Maybe I just want to tell "you" to do whatever the fuck you want and save my so-called passion for my own dreams.

Real women will remain quiet, watching the lines around your eyes when you smile.

From now on my lips are sealed. I just love keeping my mouth shut and watching you age.

 Real women have one-night stands, or sleepless nights with themselves.

Or don't, or do both, or who gives a fuck?

Real women wear sweatpants and flats, or 5 inch heels beat up from walking.

Or just clothing because that is how society dictates our social norms.

Real women believe in God, in nothing, in a religion they find within themselves.Or others.

This article does not have the intellectual capacity to start in on the philosophical argument of god.

Real women can light up any room with their alluring energy, because of their degrees, or street smarts. Life experience or diplomas, empathy or bluntness.

Oh can I allure a whole room please? Can I? At least this one is a little more broad.

Real women are youthful with old souls. And ageless with young souls.

Real women hold their own anywhere they go.Or hold others wherever they are.

I guess going anywhere is out for this unreal woman...

Real women write love letters, or text messages with emojis.

What the fuck is an emoji??? I rather write a thesis.

Real women are sultry and devious, and wholesome and innocent.

And hypocritical!

Real women will speak up for what they believe.

Real women will remain silent, because they would rather listen and understand.

Again with the shut up, woman. Not really speaking up for what you believe, then?

Real women love themselves.

Well I can support self-love for anyone.

Real women are learning to.

*Too

Real women read books.

Real women drink whiskey, and stay up all night drinking,tending to their broken hearts, or because they simply want to.

Promoting alcoholism since 1921.

Real women have curves.

Real women don’t.

Real women are sexual and asexual and bisexual.

Real women are happy in a 5 dollar t-shirt.

Real women are happy in a 5 thousand dollar coat.

I love coats that cost 6 months of rent!

Real women are Laverne Cox, Bruce Jenner, Janet Mock.

I actually don't know any of these woman. But I am not a real woman, so I look up to people like Maya Angelou and Helen Keller.

Real women are complicated and mysterious, changing your life with their spirit; making you laugh, and cry, and alive.

Real women are simple and consistent, changing your life with their ease;making you happy, and peaceful, and fulfilled.

Well Jesus H. Christ, that is a lot to live up to. I mean, I exist to changing lives, making someone happy, peaceful and fulfilled.
How fulfilling.
Maybe once that is complete, I will do something for myself.
Because real women aren't lists of stereotypes.
Real women don't all want a relationship. Real women don't all want a relationship with a man. And fuck if I won't say it, not all real women were born with a vagina.
Real women aren't happy in a certain type of clothing or another or have this body type or another because we are human and are all fucking different.
And we are not all little maternal balls of sunshine, requiring the masses to bow at our eternal allure and gracefulness.
And some of us want to fix our own cars, and some of us want a partner to do that for us, and some of us want to work and some of us want to raise our kids at home and all of that is fine too.
But there are too many possibilities to list. Stop turning us into lists. K, thanks, bye.

This article gets 3 out of 5 sheep.

Why These Social Welfare Ideologies are So Dangerous

I recently came across this picture in my Facebook news feed, shared from "Right Wing News." I will continue to defend my position to the death about this, knowing the person who posted it was not being satirical in any sense of the word. Another fine example of people who cant think for themselves spreading socially dangerous propaganda about a subject they know nothing of. I was having a discussion about this with a friend today, who said it best when she said. "RIGHT, Like...yes now, we're just sitting on our asses watching pay per view on our huge tvs and eating top notch delivered food on our silk jammies." I laughed and replied, "don't forget about pimping out our trucks." I say "our" because we, like many others in an unequally divided wealth system, who have had to utilize the social welfare system out of necessity. And not laziness, may I add, which seems to be the ideology of so many people who are quick to think anyone on social assistance flat out refuses to work.

Let me start by saying that nobody flat out REFUSES to work. There are many social and personal problems that lead to a lack of employment. Think disability (and yes, mental illness is considered a disability), lack of jobs, unequal access to education, homelessness, involvement with the justice system, addiction, and the ultimate double edged sword I have found myself in - no money to print resumes or even take a bus to a job interview.

Why do people seem to think that living on social assistance is some sort of luxury? I have received disability for mental illness two years combined to date. There was a whole year where after I paid rent. my only left over income was fifty dollars a MONTH. Yes, a month. What is fifty dollars? No social life. No cigarettes. Definitely no drinking or drugs. Barely three loaves of bread and a carton of milk. As if I am wasting your tax dollars to have no social life, no upward social mobility and no hope for the future. It is difficult to come out of. Even now, on the upswing of receiving the appropriate mental health care and medication, I can only work part-time or the old demon of depression and anxiety creeps into every cell that I have, rendering me useless.  And the cycle starts all over, if I let myself go there. But I don't. I can't.

Another point here is that I have paid my share of tax dollars too. Why do you think you are special here? Do I have your permission now to utilize a necessary system within our social paradigm because I have worked? It shouldn't even matter, this point is actually irrelevant but I figured I should make it regardless, if only to educate the masses. Not to mention that more of your precious tax dollars are spent on say, Stephen Harper sending himself a bullet-proof limousine to India, which cost you 1.2 million dollars. And why exactly are a small portion of the population barely being able to eat or have any hope for the future so offensive to you?

These pictures and comments are categorically incorrect, which is why they bother me so much. If you don't want your tax dollars going to people who really need some social support why don't you just move to another country and be some sort of slave driving capitalist? I mean, that option is always there.

I don't see you at protests lobbying for free post-secondary education. I didn't see you bring food to the food bank or your old children's toys to the Single Parents Association. I didn't see you in rehab or the mental health unit at the hospital. I didn't see you talk to the street beggars like humans. I didn't see you volunteer at the women's shelter. All I saw was your ignorance, your brand new house, your trades diploma that mommy paid for, your fancy souped-up truck and your inability to think about the social issues that affect everyone around you. Except you, apparently, are immune. They don't involve you. You are better than us. I for one and am sick of this dangerous ideology. I am giving the voiceless a voice. As I just typed that, the cap on my tooth fell off. This is totally ironic because now I have no front tooth and no dental insurance. But I don't deserve a tooth because I am poor right??

Here's to thinking!!!